17 Jun Emotional Intelligence – Part 3 – GIVE YOURSELF
Understand our own emotional drivers for optimal results
Reflecting on the positive in our relationships with others reminds us of how valuable these relationships are and how important it is to use a constructive approach to maintaining them. Martin Seligman in his book Authentic Happiness argues that if we approach problems with a positive attitude, we are more likely to achieve a positive result. Professor Tal Ben-Shahar, another great name in positive psychology (Harvard) teaches that people who keep a gratitude journal, in which they write down why they are grateful, are happier, more optimistic, have more success and are more likely to achieve their goals. It’s an easy exercise — to be done regularly.
It also makes it possible to see things the right way, the glass half full, get off to a good start and ultimately, help us to have better relationships with the people around us, whether it is at work, in our social relations and within our family.
What about you: what do you think? Why not try the experience and commit yourself to it? Where would we be without these blessings of life and with its wisdom what life brings us? I receive so much so what could I give back to my fellows: Whether it is a little thought, a thank you made in person, a pedestrian to whom I give time to cross, a car that I let pass even if I’m in a hurry, a glass of water that I offer to my colleague? The beauty is in the time we take to share the kindness of our heart and especially in taking the time to do it. Think about it: If you give yourself the mandate to do one positive action a day, it would create a wonderful moment of sharing. And above all, start to observe the non-verbal!
To deepen the intention “GIVE YOURSELF”, it is necessary to master two competencies:
- Increase Empathy, i.e. recognizing and appropriately respond to others’ emotions;
- Pursue Noble Goal, i.e. connecting your daily choices with your overarching sense of purpose.
Take a few minutes and look at this short video on empathy, from Brené Brown.
After looking at it, ask yourself: Am I sympathetic or empathic? What should I change to reach or remain in empathy? What does it mean for me to put myself in the shoes of the other to better understand?
Another exercise to help you connect to your “x” would be to write, spontaneously, why you would like to be remembered. Doing so, connect to the momentum. What should you do to get there? What is your action plan?
The GOAL is to work on yourself by naming emotion and questioning your own automatisms (KNOW YOURSELF), by reflecting on your ability to take advantage of the language of emotions, by connecting yourself to your intrinsic motivation, by remaining optimistic and by choosing what is good for us and for others (CHOOSE YOURSELF), to understand what empathy is; in the end to reach a mission, your life’s mission (GIVE YOURSELF). The fact that you have done the exercises from my previous blogs (intentions) and that you have read on the subject results in exposing you to these notions and making you vibrate to the sound of life. This vibration of life, people feel it and are stimulated by its magnetism. You become more alive, more agile in mastering your destiny and thus, able to give back to life (Noble Goal).
“You will feel gratitude. The words recognition, appreciation, wonder can be synonyms that can be used to describe the feeling. It is an inner state that leads us to want to thank life, to savor and feel the chance we have to enjoy the presence of certain people or to live some experiences in our lives. It is being touched to the heart by the generosity of volunteers who mobilize in times of crisis. Gratitude is knowing how to “associate” with our positive experiences instead of going through life by being dissociated, unconscious, on the autopilot”. From the book Empower, by Isabelle Fontaine.
The more you practice gratitude, the happier you will be become. It does not cost a thing and nourishes your being. Isabelle Fontaine adds in her book that “some studies confirm that when we are touched by these magical moments of our lives, it is biochemically impossible to feel negative emotions simultaneously”.
Remember: Emotions are chemicals that carry emotional signals not only in our brain but in our body as well. These chemical substances are messengers that carry an electrical intensity. In fact, the molecules of emotion control the electrochemistry of our body, affecting our cells’ electrical norm. That explains the intensity of emotions felt, negative or positive: fear or excitement, tears or laughter, fight or flight (or both at the same time).
You want to know more about emotional intelligence and perhaps try a psychometric that measures your emotional quotient? Contact us: having a snapshot of where you start, being able to discuss the subject with a coach and above all on how to achieve such a big goal directly leads to maximizing your potential. Do not hesitate to deepen your knowledge of emotional intelligence and focus on collective intelligence.
Finally, think of someone who displays an inspiring leadership and who could serve as a model for yourself. Let yourself be inspired. Now think of what could be your own Noble Goal. Giving of yourself, both through your Noble Goal and by empathizing, increases your self-mastery, your influence, and your wisdom.
“Staying vulnerable is a risk you will want to take if you want to experience real connections.” Brené Brown.
At the Heart of Leadership, Joshua Freedman
What Makes a Leader, Daniel Goleman
The Power of Vulnerability, Brené Brown
Authentic Happiness, Martin Seligman
Empower, Stratégies pour maximiser votre intelligence émotionnelle par le pouvoir et l’énergie des émotions, Isabelle Fontaine